2 Corinthians 6 - Using God’s Grace in Vain - Paul’s Guide to Relationships
2 Corinthians 6
 1As God’s fellow workers we urge you not to receive God’s grace in vain. 2For he says,
   ”In the time of my favor I heard you,
      and in the day of salvation I helped you.” I tell you, now is the time of God’s favor, now is the day of salvation.
Paul’s opening for 2 Cor. 6 is interesting. He has just finished writing 2 Cor. 5, explaining to the Corinthians that the only distance they have from God is Christ. Whatever distance they have, Christ spans it. He is now their “distance” from God… literally their “sin”. Truly such a connection to God is by grace, because one could never accomplish it on our own. The best we can do is stretch our distance further, almost as if we are trying to break any connection… yet Christ was already broken for us, and then He rose from the dead, to never be broken again. Yet, that doesn’t stop us from trying. It is to such Christians that Paul is urging to not “receive God’s grace in vain.”
In vain? What does that mean?
It means living as though your connection to God were of no use… essentially discarding it, not using it. You have a tool now to get you through this life. Use it. How are they not? One way is by withholding their love from those who have given them love… specifically Paul and company:
 11We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians, and opened wide our hearts to you. 12We are not withholding our affection from you, but you are withholding yours from us. 13As a fair exchange—I speak as to my children—open wide your hearts also.
Is he saying that they do not love? No, but that their love is unfocused, misused:
 14Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 15What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? 16What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God.
Please do not mistake this for an exhortation not to love unbelievers, but to not act as one with those who are not otherwise connected with God. After all, they are going to live according to their distance from God, according to their “sin”, as will you. However, your sin (i.e., Christ) is a connection to Him; theirs is a true disconnection. God can only lead you because you have allowed yourself to be yoked to Him… but how is that partner being led? By whom? What have you done by yoking up with them? You are not pulling them to God, that is for sure! You will now be pulled in two directions… one that leads to God and one that leads away. It cannot be helped… and almost invariably the ox next to you will generally win, because you have made a commitment (obviously if we’re talking of marriage, though this applies to other intimate partnerships as well). Christians who yoke up with non-Christians are generally led astray; perhaps not completely, but significantly. Christians who yoke up with other Christians however will find their paths more firm, as each tends to reinforce the path of the other toward God.
So now we can see how a person can receive God’s grace in vain. When you yoke up with another Christian, the grace you receive from God is used to keep your partner on God’s path; and they do the same for you. Yoking up with non-believers however is more likely to pull you in their direction than you are to pull them in God’s! So you know that grace you have received? You have received it in vain, as they pull you away from the path God has for you. Not only is God’s grace not leading you any longer, it is not even being used to help others. You may think that being married to a Christian will eventually save your partner, but the grace you received is far more effective at helping others maintain alignment than at helping them establish it. Only God can establish their alignment.
Now before you go thinking that your grace is of no use at all in the life of an unbeliever, let me remind you that Paul is speaking specifically of intimate partnerships. This would include a life partner, a business partner, or any other relationship that requires a close familiarity with one another, and serves the purpose of making your most important life decisions both for and with each other. This is any relationship that you might find traumatic to lose, one that defines how you live, can be seen in the values you espouse and investments of time and money that you make, a relationship that you think God has put in your life to help you live right. However, there are many other relationships that you can have which are not intimate like this, and these are the people for which your grace can be put to good use.
A relationship that God has put in your life, so they can see how a man of God truly lives, but is not emotionally intimate (for you), is a life that God may use you to save. He may not of course, but then again, He may. And why? Because you are not yoked to this person. For them to see you, they need to follow your God-given path to some degree. It is their choice of course, should they veer away, they will not take you with them.
Be in the world, but not of it.
Recall Ephesians 6, where Paul talks of putting on the full armor of God? Armor is for battle. The battle is against the enemy, and is to save the weak and helpless. The armor keeps them out of your personal bubble with God, but makes it safe for you to find them, and attempt bringing them into God’s own presence. Such relationships are not intimate. They cannot be. The intimate relationships must be reserved for those who are not a threat to you, because they are equally yoked to you and God. In fact, Paul alludes to the armor of God in 2 Cor. 6 when he describes his own walk with God:
7in truthful speech and in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left;
In one hand is the sword, which is the Word of God. In the other hand is the shied of faith. Unmentioned is the breastplate of righteousness, which protects you should your weapons of righteousness fail… but make no mistake: they are weapons. You don’t need weapons in appropriately intimate relationships. However, with unbelievers, your enemy is Satan, and against Him these weapons are a necessity, and you can only use these weapons effectively (which God gives you under His grace), when the relationship is not intimate. Why? Because you need to be able to risk losing the relationship! And intimate relationships are just too important to you psyche to risk it. So, what do you do? You put your weapons down, and you step out of your armor. That’s what you do, to make no offense, to allow that intimate embrace… and you have left yourself vulnerable to Satan, as this unbeliever starts asking for compromises in your walk with God, lovingly leading you astray. That’s how it works. It’s hard to point it out, but that is how it works.